Day 2-Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Shelli and I woke up at 1:45 p.m. I opened the curtains and we both rejoiced at the sheer perfection. A partly cloudy day and truly the bluest water I’ve ever seen.

We got dressed and left for food. More mediocre Jimmy’s Buffet, but the BBQ chicken was actually tasty. At the bar, this time I tried the drink special of the day which was “Perfect Love”. With rum banana liquor, and some other stuff. It was very sweet and thick–both the opposite of what I like in a good cocktail these days. So, after that, back to Vodka Tonics it was. I did attempt to order 2 Long Island Iced Teas, which the bartender clearly interpreted as a dash of every kind of liquor, including Peach schnapps?? Topped off with orange juice. The end result was a hodgepodge of flavors/booze so far away from a real long Island iced tea that I laughed when I handed Shelli hers announcing it as an LIIT. Back to Vodka Tonics for us.

Finally it was time for my toes to touch the water. And it was the best ever. Warm, clear, blue, clean. Perfect! There was a breakwater wall in the beach that kept the resort beach water more like a saltwater wading pool–no treading water required. Even after you swam in 4 ft and the “bottom” disappeared from your feet, you would simply bob on the surface of the water, head above surface. Still, warm, calm, perfect. The weather was partly cloudy (Shelli says scattered clouds). They had flotation rings in the ocean, and I climbed aboard just to float, cloud-watch, and drift and dream a little. I can’t really describe the sheer bliss really. I felt like a retired millionaire in those moments. No, a retired billionaire. We chilled for a few more moments (and a few more cocktails) then headed back to our room for a honeymoon break, after which we laid out together on a beach lounge in the sun. Next, we took a dip in the pool next to our wing, but didn’t really swim because while I was at the bar I met Frank and Bob and they came over to the pool. We had a great conversation, and I’m deeming them our gaycation friends. Now it’s time for more honeymooning before it’s time for our 8:30 dinner reservation at the Starlight BBQ restaurant. More later….

Night 2
We arrived at Starlight (which is really just the same beach bar & grill we were drinking at earlier) and were seated for our dinner. The only menu options were pork ribs, BBQ chicken, and Beef Tenderloin. I refuse to eat pork, and I had already had BBQ chicken at lunch, so I said screw it all and ordered the beef, medium well. Shelli had the ribs. We had to go serve our own soup and salad, which I didn’t care for doing, nor was it tasty. Shelli took one taste of the soup and immediately put her spoon down. I had one bite of ceasar-ish salad and did the same. So, we swapped and she had my salad while I finished her soup.

It was a nice, clear night on the beach and every table was full with a mix of dinner shifts. Service was a bit slow, with a long wait for cocktails and water, so I went to the bar and coyly negotiated taking one of the water pitchers back to our table. Food arrived and I thought the beef was the tastiest food I’d eaten since we arrived. Shelli wasn’t crazy about the ribs. Both were served with the same horrible grease fries from the buffet–a shame next to such nice beef–and some mushy mixed vegetables. Dessert was an awkward carrot cake with some kind of whipped frosting. One bite, and the fork went down.

As we finished eating we heard karaoke starting up at the stage behind us, so I knew that was our next stop. We moved over there and I grabbed a table while Shelli went for cocktails. It was more crowded than the reviews led me to believe; I was kinda hoping the participation would be low so I could hog the mic, but as it was, I only got one song in-Katy Perry’s I Kissed A Girl from their book of American Pop. I picked that instantly, so I didn’t really see what the other selections were like. Shelli looked at the book and didn’t find anything by Salt & Pepa, so no karaoke for her. The list had closed anyway.

After my song ended we ran into Frank and Bob, gaycationing friends from Philly. We spent an hour talking and laughing with them before Shelli lured me away with the offer to go gamble $20 in the casino. We went to the casino and actually didn’t gamble anything. I was very tipsy by then, well on my way to drunk, so I decided what I really wanted to do is give the nude beach in front of our room a run with some night-time skinny dipping. We headed off to do that, detoured by a quick and sad game of ping-pong which I lost 10-4 to Shelli.Night-time skinny dipping was awesome. I am sad to report though that when it came down to it, Shelli refused to get nude. She went topless, but kept her shorts on, despite my pleas and teases.

It got chilly quickly so we didn’t linger long. I sent Shelli on the long journey to fill the ice bucket and I ventured off to get cocktails. This is when I made the best discovery of the night. The main bars were closed so I was pointed to the “disco”, a small hut at the far end of the resort. Inside its doors was BUMPING HIP HOP MUSIC and a totally empty dance floor! It was MEANT for me. I grabbed drinks and raced back to the room, PRAYING Shelli would say yes to going out for some dancing. She did!!! Shortly after, we were back at the disco, telling the DJ what to play, dancing our asses off, and moving from tipsy, to drunk, to officially “fucked up”. I’m sure I fell down 4-5 times, but who cared it was only my wife, 3 locals, and it’s my honeymoon! The latter prompted our exit and a precariously stumbly trip back to our room on the other end of the resort. One thing I do remember is Shelli walking up to a patio and saying “You left your beach towel out!” To which I replied, “Baby, that’s NOT our porch. This isn’t even our building!” Hahaha, Shelli hasn’t had that much to drink in a while, nor have I.

Somehow we made it back to our actual room, and as soon as the bed touched my face it was A WRAP!!!! I know I went to sleep smiling though–there’s nothing better than dancing to your favorite hip hop on an empty dance floor with your wife!

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