5 Reasons Why My Writing Sucks

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Let me just get this all out there right now:

1. I use too many needlessly unnecessary words that are completely inessential to the point or points I’m trying to make in any given sentence, paragraph or piece.

2. My favorite sentence is a run-on sentence that stretches like bikram yoga across fifteen or twenty-three words before even thinking about a comma, much less a period, and then continues unabashedly through perhaps even a page turn or screen swipe before coming to a stop having finally exhausted its point and my vocabulary that is until the next idea is formed and it is time to begin a new run on sentence.

3. I love sending email! I am equally addicted to sending texts and updating social media! I’m even blogging and sending newsletters more regularly now for my business! And in all of the all of these, I completely misuse and overuse exclamation points!! How exciting!!!

4. And I start a lot of sentences with “and” (though I am starting to edit for this a bit more).

5. Speaking of parenthesis, I also misuse and overuse them (since they are my most creative way to extend a beautifully run-on sentence).

Wow, that’s just 5 reasons out of assuredly MANY more (like capitalizing words for emphasis and overusing ellipses…and emoticons) :)!

I might be able to actually start a series called Why My Writing Sucks, then self-publish it and make $50 like my first book has. (Just kidding, I’ve made $63…so far.)

Or, I could very easily title the book “Why My Writing Kicks All Kinds Off Ass Including Yours” and not change a single word in any chapter. That one would probably go viral and make like, $100. Hmm…I wonder which title my ebook coach Ellen Violette would like more? (probably neither!)

The bottom line is who cares? My writing has a few select special fans, the hugest of which is actually me. Yeah I said it. I love myself and my writing. Deal with it. (Oh and maybe try it yourself. It’s working for me!) And because I know there are others out there in the world like me, I write and now I publish in hopes of one day finding them, or them finding me and emailing or commenting or tweeting to say, “KL you made me smile, laugh, think, wanna blog, get horny, make a DREAM come true…”, you know, any or all of those. I’ll take it all with gratitude, grace, and as a sign to keep going. And even without that sign, I’m gonna keep going because I FREAKING CAN! 😛