I've jumped out the window and am free-falling on this website/blog project. People have been hired and paid. Domains have been purchased. Services have been registered for. I have got to do this. I am all about the A. ACTION. DO SOMETHING. 

Tonight's goal was simple. I am going to upload a custom header image to my website, which uses the Thesis theme (what the hell is that right? right!) Should be easy enough. I mean, there was a time in my life where I wrote HTML code from memory (15 years ago….*sigh*) Well, follow me on this journey if you dare, and marvel at how I got anywhere….

So….down the rabbit hole.

1 Step forward: First, I visit my website. Yep. Still looks lame and empty.

OK, so let's log-in to my site as an admin and have a look around. 

2 steps forward. I log in as admin. Okey dokey. Look around for magic button that says "UPLOAD CUSTOM HEADER IMAGE HERE!" Seeing none…

1 Step back: Google "Insert Custom Header Image in Thesis". Hooray. First result is an article entitled "How to Add Your Custom Banner Image to the Thesis Theme Header" 

1 Step forward: Click on the article and review. Hmmm, first three sentences look promising. Yes, I'm exactly the kind of idiot newbie described. Scroll past some stuff that I don't think applies to me….

1 Step forward: Ready an image. Done. I hate it, but I have to start somewhere. Don't sweat the small stuff. Sweat the idea of hundreds of your dollars going to waste. Dread the idea of remaining at your J.ust O.ver B.roke. Ask self–is the fact that this header image is not perfect right now worth you not achieving your goal? No? I didn't think so. Onward. To "FTP your image to your host server." Good lord I haven't FTP'd anything since 1996. What the hell is a host server?

1 Step Back: Google "host server". Determine that mine is hostgator. I think.

1 Step back: Google "FTP to hostgator". Get "download this free FTP program."

1 step forward: Download FTP program. Open it. *blank stare* It needs a Host, a Username, a Password, and a Port. Hmmm.

1 Step back: Google "Host name for HostGator". It's my domain name. Duh. (Thank God for the dumb ones that came before me with these dumb questions. There's nothing wrong with a dumb question!!)

1 step forward: Log into the FTP program with proper host name, user name, password, and port. Some stuff happened on the screen! Cool! *glances around* Hmm….no "CLICK HERE TO UPLOAD IMAGE" button. 

1 step back: Google "how upload header image in thesis theme using FTP". Find a blog that explains in a foreign language called English. *blank stare* Ooo wait! A video that shows you how to do it AND insert the image into my header on Thesis-JACKPOT! 

1 step back: Watch the youtube video. 

1 step forward: Follow the steps on Youtube until….I discover the tutorial is for an older version of Thesis, so the pathways aren't the same. ARGH! 

1 step back: Begin cursing. Click around the FTP program looking for the Images file. Find one under the right domain though it's not the content folder as directed in the youtube. what the hell, why not?

1 step forward: FTP the image from local disk to remote server. VICTORY IS MINE!

1 step forward: Log into as admin on domain and select custom file editor. Could I be nearing the end of the tunnel????? Ummm…no. Because once again what appears on my screen is totally different from what's on the Youtube video. BLAST! All that's in my "custom file editor" is a blurb about why it works. Where's all the funky code looking stuff in the youtube guy's video?? 

3 steps back: root around some more, scrutinize the video, look back over the blog and BINGO! Find the code I'm supposed to be cutting and pasting into the custom file editor. 

1 step forward: cut and paste the code into my custom style editor. Ummm…ok. 

1 step forward: Replace the image URL in the code with the URL for your custom image. Uhhh….ok I know I FTP'd the image to my host server, but it didn't exactly spit out a URL for me to insert into this code. *SIGH* *FUCKING SIGH* 

1 step back: Seek out the URL for the image I FTP'd…try typing my domain name/image name into browser. 404 fail. FUCK!!!!!!!

1 step back: Try copying and pasting a pathway from the FTP program into browser. Closer, but still no dice. 

1 step back: Remove /public_html/ from FTP pathway and replace with www. so it looks like an actual URL…and SUCCESS…..oh wait, it's the wrong image. SHITTTTTTTTTLLLLLLLLEEEEEES!!! *echo* *echo* *echo*

4 steps back: Redo the entire FTP thingy with the right image file. 

2 steps forward: Correct image FTP'd. Code copied into custom file editor and URL replaced with my custom image URL. Click "Big Ass Save Button" and hold breath. 

1 step forward: Go to website to review the fruits of my labor. Custom image appears…well, half of it anyway because the banner is too big. 50% FAIL! 

10 Steps back: figure out how to resize photos on a Mac. Spend exactly 6 seconds missing the familiarity of Windows, and then, Aha! 

1 Step Forward: Adjust custom image size to fit website header. 

7 Steps back: Redo the entire FTP thingy again with resized image. Screw up three times. 

1 step forward: Finally get a smaller image loaded, only now it's too small. But screw it, it's on there! And if I take one more step forward or back, I'll go mad, so clearly it's time to stop here. The mission for the night is accomplished. 

The bottom line: If I know nothing else from this 4 hours exercise, I know how to get a custom picture to appear on my website's header. Finally. It still looks all janky to be damned (hence why I have not included my URL…yet. But those really pressed could probably figure it out. Or ask me.) I will work on it more tomorrow night, and every night. Until I die, or make at least $1 from Google or Paypal. 

The bigger point is I pressed through. And even when negative emotions threatened to overwhelm me, I just cussed and moved on–to getting it done. 

So yes people…This Stuff's Working!

And goodnight. 

P.S. Big ups to www.fourblogger.com for the blog post (http://fourblogger.com/how-to-upload-header-image-or-logo-in-thesis-theme/) and youtube video () that guided me through this hair-pulling process…