A Requiem For Windsor

The only living manifestation of unconditional love that I have ever had.
Rest in Peace
Sir Windsor Moore

You were here
And now you’re gone
Belove canine
You lived so long
15 years of life you gave
I realized you could not stay
You came to me
just fur and tongue
When I was 8
So sad and young
Throughout my life
Together we grew
When I had no one
I had you
Windsor I loved you so
I know I know you had to go
But my heart yells out for you I cry
With out my dog
Who am I
I know you were just a pet
But my life’s been different since the day we met
On February 21, 1988
Yes, I do remember the day
We lived in Florida in English Hills
In a house full of tears, screams and shrills
And pain and dark and anger and hate
But you became an outlet on that date
You hid from me and rightfully so
I was a little mean
I did not know
That you would become such a part of my life
You’re the reason I did not use the knife
to slice my wrist when I was 12
i wanted to die, and accept hell
but you looked at me with eyes so sad
And I remembered that I still had
You my dog
WHY
DID
I
LOVE
YOU
DAMNED
SHIH
TZU
My life in a dog
A dog in my life
You lived too long
You did not live long enough
I know you
loved me
At times you were
the only thing
I knew
loved me
AND I WILL MISS YOU
I MISS YOU
I MISS YOU
I WANT YOU HERE!
Please hear
My dear
Windsor
Stay a little longer
I could not ask
But my heart cannot mask
The impact you’ve had
in 15 years
So I will not hold back my tears
I am not crazy to have loved you so
I will not turn crazy I will let you go
You have suffered in your own way
Never did you once complain
Because you were just a dog
You had no voice
But life was SO FUCKED UP
You had no choice
But to live and love
And that you did
Every single day
Since I was a kid
You understood me
Like no human could
When mom wouldn’t love me
You would
When mom wouldn’t cuddle me
You would
When mom wouldn’t listen
You would
When I wouldn’t love me
You would
She has to put you
out of misery
But what now will happen to me
I can never again see your face
Windsor I can’t even replace
Your matted fur
Your dangling tongue
Your waterfall tail
Your big dog wail
Your falsetto sing
Such a funny thing
You were my dog
You are my dog
I love you
I love you.
Wherever you were
was home
Whenever you were there
I’m not alone
No matter what anyone says
You are the best.
I miss you Windsor my heart hurts and I can’t feel anything but love so strong it burns through my chest and slides down my body and pools on the floor like the tears that fell last night when I knew you had been euthanized.
But you’ve taught me well
I’ll live each day
Trying to love myself
The same way
You loved me.
Be well.
I will never see you again.
Thanks for being my friend.
My dumb dog.
Swoober-swoob swoob.
God damn it.
I loved you.